much of sharing what you're going through with others, is about rearranging your own thoughts

At least for me. Of course, it is important to be heard, to be understood, to receive advice, if any - but those rely hugely on who you're talking to. But, there is one almost definite benefit of sharing things with others, definite because this one's variable is larger on you, is when you tell people, you rearrange your thoughts. Because you are naturally trying to make this other person understand what you're going through, what are you feeling, why - these force your mind to declutter things in your brain, questioning yourself in the process whether this is rational to hear, and the end-product, without being wholly intended to, is things get at least a tad clearer in your mind.

That's what often happens to me. And the other day, as I called a friend to tell my recent mishaps, the words I said dawned upon me,

'This is too much. I will never let such a big thing under anybody's control outside of myself again. To have zero control and boundless uncertainty is just too much.'

Which made me realize, the key of my unhappiness has been, I let too much control on externalities in deciding important things for me. And when it fails, I beat myself up.  It's not even logical now I'm typing this, but it's true. As to my future plan, my relationship, my career... Majority of the decisions are at the other parties and we all know we have some limitations to influence that, but when it doesn't work the way I intended to be, I think that this is my fault.

Oh, what a trap.

But then it leads me to think, what other choices do I have, really? A friend recently asked me, what is my number one priority in life right now, and I answered, it's self-development. Now, this is tricky because in order to say 'develop', we have to have progress, and progress is measured from point A to point B. We are used to always have a comparison to measure if it's not the key thing in development. Now, what choices do I have when all the metrics I set myself against are controlled by externalities? My number one priority in life requires comparison, and comparison is not fully within my control, and it went to astray, what choice do I have?

Much of sharing what you're going through with others is about rearranging your own thoughts - but also writing. Writing does that.