dumb enough to try

Father John Misty - God's Favorite Customer cover album. Why? Because..

"You know, just because I didn't like that ridiculous comedy you did with Goldie Hawn did not mean I did not love you. That's what you always do. You confuse love for admiration."
- Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)

It's the third movie on my 16-hour flight back home. I admire the movie from the very start, the script is delightful and camera movement is genius. Yet that line, that line above, was like a fist punching me in my empty stomach.

It left me to wonder, do I too? Confuse love for admiration?

Fellas, disclaimer right here, I know next to nothing about love. Twenty-two years of age, many failed relationship, many books read, many stories heard, but still, you can take what I know about love and throw it in a sink (FJM's new song reference there~).

However, like most of us do, we associate things we know and call that love. Affection, perhaps. Empathy. Longing. You name it. How about admiration?

I'd be that girl on the corner silently nodding.

I always thought of love has a great portion of admiration. I mean, can it not? If, for example, you find the thing a person do is foolish and evil, how can you grow fond of him/her? You might dislike them in instant. Same goes, you see another person doing good, you appreciate what they're doing, you admire them, then you might love them.

You see your lover get up in the morning, get all geared-up and ready for work. You love that positivity, you admire the positive energy they radiate.

See? Admiration. How can it be separable with love?

Another good example might be Dorian Gray's love toward Sibyl Vane in Oscar Wilde's novel. Dorian admired Sibly so much, he thought he loved her. Does it mean Dorian confused love with admiration?

Ah, why trouble so much about it, anyway, Kar? 

Because, because... Have you ever had any relationship with someone, you see they're totally sincere and caring, they mean you no harm, it looks like what society calls love... But they simply do not admire you for who you are? They do not care whether you have exquisite taste in paintings or have just successfully crossed another career-milestone. Or like in Birdman, For them, it doesn't matter.

Now that's a flawed logic in my terms above and therefore quite mind-boggling for me. If admiration is essential in loving someone, how can anybody that do not admire something their partners do, could still love them?

It's an open question, I got no answer either, sorry to disappoint you.